TALK THE TALK

hey people. 

glad that i survived from assignments and tests. 

ordinary university life. i am working it out. 

by the way. today, i want to talk about myself. 

i am a girl, from year 1993. i am a girl that live independently. 

why? because start from primary one, my parents went to Singapore, to work, earn money, to survive. 

i have a brother, youngest brother. since then, my aunt from mother side started to take care us.
 and my parents, come back once two weeks. and stay for 3 days 2 nights.
 after that they went back to their hard life.

i won't say that i am lack of love from my parents.  i learnt to appreciate. 

appreciate the time we're being together. appreciate the things that they gave me. 

i never complain about my life. never. 

wishes in my life, so far, they fulfilled. they just simply amazing. 

i am a 90's. 

from the education, i learnt to stand out and say things that i think is correct. 

i don't actually fucking care who is the one that did wrongs. i don't care if he/she is older than me or he/she is my elder.

whatever i think it is wrong, i point it out.

like what i always said " fight for our rights."

i think it is not wrong for us to fight for our rights. i never think it is wrong. 

this is 20 century. no more drama from those old times please.

i am a modern girl. i am not that kind of girl that lives in old times, that knee down to wipe the floor with a cloth and never disagree with single thing that happen in her life. i am not that kind of girl, just not. 

whoever that disagree me, this individual. ok, fine, you can leave, i won't stop you right? we're not in the same path though. 

 life never be easy.

i will cry in the middle of the night. many reason for me to cry in the midnight.

maybe because of i have a test tomorrow and i can't sleep. 

maybe because i have a fight with my bf. 

maybe because of i feel lonely.

too many reasons to cry.

but i don't cry in front of people.
i will not let my tiara down in front of those fucking people that look down on me. i was always strong in front of people.

sometimes, i am fragile.
in the middle of the night, i might need to hold myself in case i broke accidentally. lol. 

i don't communicate with people that i don't really know. 

i don't know the reason. i just feel superb insecure to communicate with people that i don't know. 

i rather keep quiet. and i did feel good to not to talk. weirdo i know.

it just feel better to not to open my mouth. maybe i scare the gold that i kept in my mouth will drop out.

but, if people start a conversation with me, i never reject ok....i will not run off. not until that level please. 

my life is not bad, but when i feel it is bad, i tell myself  "suck it up."